New Creeds (Pslams) from Andrew of Petros

Faith in the Heart Attack
A psalm from Petros


O Douglas Adams,
my heart goes out to thee;
for what else could replace
the one You lost?

O Redeemer of Literature,
I sing to thee;
for what else could replace
the voice that You lost?

Your words of glory
dispel the Blades of Glory.
Will Ferrel is nothing
compared to You.

I will sing your words,
and convert the books of
the undying True Tome,
to a beautiful song.

Douglas Adams, born of the Plotter,
I believe.
I believe.


In Times of Bad Literature
A psalm from Petros


Plotter, Plotter,
hear my cry!
Great books from
Margaret Atwood
surround my face.

I cannot look away,
and my eyes dwell on the
words of Evil.
They burn into my mind
like a brand.

I am a sigil of
terrible literature.
Bad grammar
falls from my mouth.

I am no longer a man of You.
Clear these words from my
mind forever,
Douglas.

But I know that
with your First Draft Eraser,
you can remove from me,
all of these terrible books.

You shall take up a
sword and behead her,
and cast Margaret Atwood,
into a dirty brook.

I'll never forget
your help.
The books you left me
when you died.

I'll preserve
those words in my heart forever.
Who else is greater
than thou?