New Creeds (Pslams) from Andrew of Petros

Faith in the Heart Attack
A psalm from Petros


O Douglas Adams,
my heart goes out to thee;
for what else could replace
the one You lost?

O Redeemer of Literature,
I sing to thee;
for what else could replace
the voice that You lost?

Your words of glory
dispel the Blades of Glory.
Will Ferrel is nothing
compared to You.

I will sing your words,
and convert the books of
the undying True Tome,
to a beautiful song.

Douglas Adams, born of the Plotter,
I believe.
I believe.


In Times of Bad Literature
A psalm from Petros


Plotter, Plotter,
hear my cry!
Great books from
Margaret Atwood
surround my face.

I cannot look away,
and my eyes dwell on the
words of Evil.
They burn into my mind
like a brand.

I am a sigil of
terrible literature.
Bad grammar
falls from my mouth.

I am no longer a man of You.
Clear these words from my
mind forever,
Douglas.

But I know that
with your First Draft Eraser,
you can remove from me,
all of these terrible books.

You shall take up a
sword and behead her,
and cast Margaret Atwood,
into a dirty brook.

I'll never forget
your help.
The books you left me
when you died.

I'll preserve
those words in my heart forever.
Who else is greater
than thou?

Greetings from Pope Scott the First

Greetings my children, I am Pope Scott the First, founder of the Dougian Church. Through me Douglas Adams speaks, and I follow his will. As head of the Church, I am in charge.

I would like to make you all aware of a great threat to our most humble Church. It is known as Al-Guidea. These radicals believe that there are only TWO books which were written by Author. This is HERESY!

I warn you all to not be taken in by there heretics, as the word the spread is blasphemous, and it is hereby forbidden by the church to visit their site:
http://www.alguidea.blogspot.com

As well, the church has begun an inquisition of all books ever written, to determine whether or not they are humorous and sci-fi enough to be read by Dougians. The books are marked as worthy or un-worthy after the ENTIRE book is read. Those books deemed un-worthy or blasphemous are to never be read by Dougians, and if ever a Dougian should come upon one, they are to be burned on the spot.

One book particularly stands out above all others thus-far as being especially not funny and un-sci-fi. This book is The Handmaid, by Margaret Atwood. This book is not only to be burned, but VERY BURNED.